Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
