I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
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Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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