i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
