i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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