The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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