That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
