so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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