He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
