Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what if I'm pregnant?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Boobs are out for the taking
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it