I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
