Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?