im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
