I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
