Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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