There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
