i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
