i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Someone signed my nipple.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize