these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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