I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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