if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
