:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
