Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?

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(949): View more from California

dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

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(214): View more from Texas

ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Sounds like sex on a twister board.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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(337): View more from Louisiana

So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.

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