Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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