I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
