She's JV to your varsity
oh god the rape fog is back!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
