That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Are we still banned from the library?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize