I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
