WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
