i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
