you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
