What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
