happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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