pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
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