This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
whose ass print is on the piano?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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