so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
