the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
and you fell through a lawn chair
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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