we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
