I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
