if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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