we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
