The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
