am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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