hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
