Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
