Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
