I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
