Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"

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(808): View more from Hawaii

My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in

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(707): View more from California

I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.

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