The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
