Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
