she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Randomize
