Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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