I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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