drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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