On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize