at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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