I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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