K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Farmville is her only friend.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
