This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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