He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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