nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.