shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.