so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
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I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
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I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life