Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.