Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
