Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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