I think i peed on brittanys purse
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
